Sunday, November 20, 2011

Now, where to???

I have finally reached a point in my journey where I can say I honestly feel removed from daily rituals and routines. I have no destination, no concept of time, and nowhere I 'need' to be with no 'one' waiting on me. I feel like a kite in the wind...As I have been traveling, I am surrounded by people who are in constant flux......coming + going, in + out, and moving to + from place to place; and here I am asking myself...what next, where to? Although I have enjoyed my 'unpredictable' experiences, being constantly surrounded by new places, new people, and new things can become overwhelming and sometimes exhausting. I am putting forth my best effort to try and embrace the uncertainty each new day brings and allow myself to be spontaneous! That was my full intention for this allow myself to let go and live freely! I figured this could be a good way to start my new beginnings...after 5 years of relentless hard work and dedication to my school work while also relieving myself from the disappointment of not finding a job! I've managed to escape the reoccuring question that I tried to avoid having to answer because it left me feeling depressed, self-conscious, and unaccomplished.

Lately, I have started my days not knowing what they may have in store. I have just played it by ear, and let my emotions drive my 'drift'. This freedom has provided me time to seperate myself; time to search and discover myself as an artist/architect and look for ways I can use my skills/talents to glorify God. My daily motive is to listen to God speak to me in spirit and in truth as He introduces me to new experiences, ideas, and encounters throughout the day.

I am ashammed to admit how dependent I have been on technology throughout my travels. Instead of using a physical road atlas to navigate from place to place, and instead of going door to door to shop around for cheap hotel rates; I have been using the support/services of my 'tom-tom', 'priceline', and 'cellular device'. In this digital age, our generation doesn't know how to operate without the convenience of our electronic tools. Before all of these helpful new 'digital' tools existed people got around just fine. Why couldn't I have a little more faith in myself and my abilities to get around without them? My grandparents did it, why couldn't I? In order to put forth an honest effort to seperate yourself from these conviences, you must be willing to take risks. I have fould myself feeling slightly uneasy or helpless within these 'unknown' territories whenever I don't have internet access to facilitate my needs to search, browse. Although these may be extremely helpful tools, I feel like they take away from gaining a full experience of place.

1 comment:

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